Of course, I am talking about PARA drama.
For the uninitiated, para drama is a stupid term invented to define an even stupider thing. That stupid thing being the ridiculously disproportionate amount of infighting, backstabbing, trickery, chicanery, and downright lying that members of a so-called “paranormal community” commit towards each other with more regularity than a prunes-and-Metamucil diet. Para drama is, in fact, the new argyle.
I have been vascillating back and forth between calling people out and naming names and saying “you all know who you are and you suck and I hate you!!!” I’m honestly not even sure if I am vascillating right. There are so many arms on this octopus, with each tentacle possessing so many hundreds of individual kinds of suck, that it would be nearly impossible to examine each one individually while trying to keep the rest of the “suck” from attaching itself to you in the process. People seriously HATE each other, and with no good reason. It’s UNbelievable.
I submit to you the most recent example of treachery – the Shannon Sylvia/Donna LaCroix debaucle. In a nutshell: Shannon Sylvia publicly accused her “friend” - Donna LaCroix - of lying about having terminal cancer to avoid having a particular interview aired. Now ask me what ANY of that has to do with the topic of paranormal investigation? I have no idea. It’s just one example out of a million of exactly how people willfully F*CK each other in this “business.”
Now, just to make sure I am not suddenly accused of “wanting to be famous,” (a statement that – in the “paranormal community” - roughly equates to “I molest children”) I want to make my own personal agenda perfectly clear. I am a writer who likes ghosts. I have written three books on the topic of the paranormal, and am contracted to write at least two more. My goal is to sell books. Now, to clarify even further, the books I have written (along with Patrick) are based on a specific protocol that we have modified from old-school paranormal investigation technique. Sensory replication. No big vans full of computers and TV cameras and producers and corporate sponsorships. We spend time in allegedly haunted places to see if anything happens to us, and then we write about it. Full stop. There is nothing fake about what we do. We only have ourselves to answer to, and we are fully accountable for our actions and stand behind every single word we write, as I do for this post.
The reason for the clarification comes from the idea that we are all “looking for the same thing.” WE are not. Paranormal investigators appear to be programmed to say that we are all “looking for answers.” Not all of us are. I am willing to admit that I don’t even know what the f*cking QUESTIONS are that we should be asking. I am not out to prove or disprove, nor am I seeking approval. I am also not claiming to be a scientist, and I am also not claiming to be psychic, clairvoyant, or a medium. I AM, however, looking to sell books. Sue me.
I cannot log on to Facebook these days without seeing people flinging their own personal shit at each other, accusing each other of any manner of subterfuge, all the while touting their own shiny, untarnished halos. In my opinion, the people making the biggest accusations are the ones who have nothing to offer, are currently realizing they have nothing to offer, and are panicking because the end of the gravy train is in sight. The ship is going down and it’s every man for themselves.
Frankly, I’m embarrassed for the people doing the accusing. It is unneccessary and irrelevant, and such accusations only make the motivations of the accuser suspect. For example, “If people think this show is faked, I won’t get to be on TV anymore, so I better draw negative attention to the squealer.” We aren’t really fooled by it, and no amount of martyrly Facebookery is going to erase the fact that you have opened a can of worms and they are now crawling all over you. You know who you are. Interesting sidenote: I also feel that discussing the amount of hair that might be growing on another investigator’s nipples, and asking callers to a radio show if they would “fuck” said investigator is also irrelevant, inappropriate, and just mean – regardless of circumstance.
The problem here is that everyone clammoring to be heard within this “community” has imagined that there is a huge “brass ring” to be grabbed, bringing with it an endless flow of fame, fortune, beauty, and popularity. Once everyone realizes that this is just one more mirror and a lot more smoke, perhaps the fuss will die down and those with a genuine interest will remain standing, and those that simply want to keep others from enjoying themselves will erode away like rotting flesh. I have made no secret of my belief that “ghost shows” from top to bottom are as fake as Heidi and Spencer, and those seeking to suckle that teet can feel free to do so, but please know that the rest of us do not prefer to have that stink on us. If your goal is to be on TV and have a franchise, say so, believe it, and achieve it. But please, once again, do NOT piss on the rest of our legs and tell us it’s raining.
To the fakers and troublemakers – you are dismissed. Please go lay down by your dishes.
To those who RAWK, I salute you. Specifically that Mike Roberts. He’s one to watch, you know. That boy is GOING PLACES, and he is pretty EASY ON THE EYES *fans self*…whew…Damn, I want him to be famous. You should, too.