With recent news that Anne Nicole Smith lawyer Howard K. Stern might have been responsible for the beloved model’s death two years ago, one or two people who might still give a shit are asking – Wait, is that other Howard Stern guy still alive?
Well, after shock jock Stern’s marriage to some horse faced model back in October, a smattering of rumors began gently floating off and on, and in and out of New York’s hoity-toity Hamptons community, that the seven-foot tall, wig wearing former disc jockey/Joey Ramone impersonator is indeed still among us.
To refresh your memory, the once famous radio personality of the 80s and 90s vanished into an irrelevant non-entity when he left radio in 2006, indeed becoming not even the most famous person with his own stupid name.
But has anyone been keeping tabs on the once-popular and controversial host who followed in the shock-jockery footsteps of radio legends Don Imus and Steve Dahl, but has now joined the ranks of faded icons like Fred Allen and Soupy Sales?
A Brief History
Stern once thrilled audiences with his tales of being “half-Jewish,” growing up around black people, and masturbating 1000 times a day, a schtick revealed to have been completely stolen from Philip Roth’s 1969 novel Portnoy’s Complaint once one of his fans actually picked up the book and said, “Holy shit.” Seriously, read the book. It’s uncanny. It reads like a prequel to Stern’s books Private Parts and Miss America.
Thievery was not something new to Stern, having taken his Fartman character from National Lampoon and his silly “Butt Bongo” concept from two disc jockeys in Maine early on in his career. But, insanely and “What balls!“-ly enough, Stern himself later became known for claiming he invented things that others were stealing, concepts such as asking questions, having artists play a guitar, and radio itself. Even claiming that his precursors Imus, Dahl and Guglielmo Marconi were ripping him off!
Despite the moderate success of his 1997 sci-fi/fantasy motion picture talkie Private Parts, Stern’s subsequent failures outside of radio were a major disappointment to his career and ego. His production company’s television show Son of the Beach, hailed by many critics as “Baywatch meets a pile of horse shit,” was cancelled after two seasons. Stern’s planned remakes of the early 80s films Porky’s and Rock and Roll High School – seemingly in production since the originals themselves were released – have yet to see the light of day.
So Stern began slowly going insane. After staging his own radio death twice in 2004 – once with a silly April Fool‘s gag, then again with the same insulting stunt months later – and convincing his more dim-witted fans that the President of the United States was actually after him and trying to get him off the air, Stern began his on-air campaigning for John Kerry in the ‘04 presidential election. Once an outspoken hater of celebrities with political soapboxes, Stern’s increasing paranoia caused him to invite a virtual cavalcade of liberal celebs onto his show, including Tim Robbins, Michael Moore, and the Dixie Chicks.
When President Bush won that election, he amazed no one by not giving a shit whether Stern remained on the air, or even alive, leaving the large-nosed curmudgeon to become less and less funny – and more and more delusional – for another 14 months.
Today, still claiming that the government and big business are after him, and that everyone in radio, television and film rip him off and owe him for being alive, Stern has traded his fame in for total obscurity and millions and millions of dollars.
So, whatever happened to Howard Stern? He was just charged in the death of Anna Nicole Smith.
Wow! Such hatred! Why? Is it something personal towards Stern?? You obviously do not, and have not ever listened to the show. Stern’s obscure?? That’s pretty funny.
On the contrary, oh, my brother. I was a listener/follower for eight whole years.