I’ve really just about had my fill of being a “booster parent.”
Ever since my children were young, I swore that I would be the mom that was always at every function, cheering on my children, very much the OPPOSITE of how my parents did me…they didn’t even take pictures at my high school graduation, but [...]
Tag Archives: parenting
Booster Shots
I'm With the Band…
Too bad they aren’t.
I love marching band. I marched with the band as a songleader in high school, and now my son is starting his adventure with the marching band. Call them what you will…band fags, band geeks…but the reality is that they have their own brand of cool, completely unfettered by the inevitable “point [...]
My Trip to the County Fair or Nine Dollars for an Indian Taco? REALLY?
I’ve been going to the fair since I was a little kid. Nothing profound there but I have always been somewhat mystified by the experience and I look forward to it every year. It had been a few years since I had been and I was really bummed to miss it last year so I [...]
What a Bite in the Ass!
Do you see this? This is the bite that my ex’s girlfriend’s mother’s DOG took out of my son’s ass.
Am I pissed? You BETCHA.
Here’s the setup – I needed to go out of town for half the day on Sunday, and she said she would watch my children. I certainly couldn’t ask their FATHER because, [...]
Mommy Dearest
I hope you guys can read this, because I don’t know how to make it any bigger. The basic gyst of this article is that someone has written in complaining that their friend who has a kid won’t make time to call or answer an email. The writer of the question is then shamed for [...]
From the Brilliant Parenting Files…File #4
I love reading how cracked out parents can be. I dunno, I mean call me old fashioned but I’ve just always associated the idea of “Parent” as synonymous with those silly things like “responsible”, “upstanding”, “role model”. Even “intelligent”. But with every new day, a new file is dropped on my desk in this series [...]
Please Don't Litter!!!!
Honestly, I blame the McCaugheys. You remember… Kenny and Bobbi McCaughey and their septuplets. Fucking SEPTUPLETS.
The drill is always the same. “We couldn’t have babies, so we prayed about it and God blessed us with all these wonderful babies and promised to take care of all of us!!!”
My question is this: Why weren’t you listening [...]
What Goes Up, Must Come Down – Life's Embarassing Moments
Now that we are all coming down off of the Halloween induced sugar high, we are officially entering the season to be thankful. Thankful we haven’t been foreclosed on. Thankful that our bank did not go tits-up under the cloak of night, swallowing our entire life savings. Thankful that this Goddamn election will be OVER [...]
From the Brilliant Parenting Files… File #3
The first line of the story says it all:
STEVENSVILLE, Montana (AP) — About 90 elementary school students in Montana have started a series of rabies shots after a parent let them touch a dead bat that was later confirmed to be diseased.
But really, to get the full effect, you have to keep reading:
The mother of [...]
Gag Me with a SPOON!
Here is a fantastic little bipartisan tale that everyone can enjoy.
I hate vomit. I doubt there is anyone reading this that says, “Not ME, I LOVE IT!!!”
But I REALLY hate it.
Unfortunately, one of the risks of having children is that they will erupt like Mt. Vasuvius at the drop of a hat. Generally speaking, that [...]
From the “Brilliant Parenting” files… File #2
Wow parenting just gets better and better these days! Now, if you make a mistake – or nine of them – Nebraskan law says you can just click “cancel” and call it a day!
I can see it:
Hi honey, how was your day? Fine snookums. I got tired of changing diapers for Billy, Samantha was giving [...]
From the “Brilliant Parenting” files…
I’ll never understand why we have to pass tests to get past first grade, get a driver’s license, or get into eharmony.com, but to bring a child (or twenty) into the world? Nothin.
We live in a world of creating stockpiles of band-aids to fix our severed limbs as a society. What ever happened to “an [...]
Commentary: Stop Bringing Babies to R-Rated Movies
You know who you are… and you can just go straight to hell.
The different between a parent that stays home and misses movies, or gets a sitter and goes to one every few months versus the one that drags their infant, stroller and all, into an R-Rated movie on opening weekend is that one parent [...]
Bringing Your Baby to a Theater Makes me Wish You Were Sterile
Have you had the joy of this happening to you as well?
You’ve had a long week, you finally decided to go see the new hot movie opening weekend so you get off work, rush home, collect your significant other and rush off to the theater where you pay $20 for tickets and another $317 for [...]
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