20. Shoot ‘Em Up (2007)
Starring Clive Owen, Paul Giamatti and Monica Bellucci Shoot ‘Em Up is a kinetic and bombastic send up of the action genre. The action is over the top and tongue in cheek with not so subtle nods at genre conventions and increasingly outrageous set ups and situations. The story follows Clive Owen’s Smith who finds himself in possession of a newborn baby and a bunch of nasty assholes with guns after him led by Hertz (Giamatti). He seeks solace with lactating prostitute (Bellucci) and all manner of wackiness ensues. This is like porn for gun fans and action freaks, particularly the sex scene between Owen and Bellucci that doesn’t stop when the gunfire starts. My cousin and I giggled our way through this movie in the theater whispering to each other what over the top thing should happen next only to see the movie go there. It is absolutely nuts, completely irreverent and a whole lot of fun.
The Professional? I effing HATED that movie SO MUCH!!!! UGH. You know when you think a movie is just so bad that it makes you angry that you watched it? That is how I feel about The Professional.
I just don’t DIG movies like that as a general rule.
Given that you never saw the Matrix because it ‘didn’t look even remotely good’ I think it is safe to say this whole list is probably not material you would dig.
No Ninja Assassin fail.
GJ: As I said above: I tried to keep it to movies that didn’t stray too far into other their own sub-genre where I could, for instance I avoided primarily martial arts movies as they deserve their own list.
Ninja Assassin definitely goes on the martial arts list which currently doesn’t exist.
martial arts list stat