Watch this first, it’s only 5mins:
Now, I’ve never heard of Dennis Prager, but a friend that I respect sent me this link and honestly, I agree with everything Dennis said. I think it’s a pretty eloquent argument for working on being happy.
I also think he had a very interesting take on the entitlement-epidemic we have in the western world (US, UK most notably); what causes it and where it’s leading us.
I don’t care what Dennis’s religious or political affiliations are, or what yours are, but what do you guys think of that 5mins video?
It kind of reminds me (sadly) on lessons that I’m teaching my kids but don’t always follow: feelings are never bad, but how you act upon them is the test of your character. It’s a simple, yet powerful concept that Dennis has to remind us adults of.
I think I’m a victim sometimes to “well, acting happy when I’m not is just phony.” But, perhaps there’s something to be said for “fake it ’till you feel it” when it comes to happy-hood. Some folks are masters at this. We probably all know the guy or gal who is always cheerful, bubbly and so friggin’ nice all the time. And then they’re still that way the day after their parent dies or something. But it’s like they have this magic, genuine ability to be happy. Kinda cool.
I’d say I was envious of this, but that would just make me depressed and grumpy and force me into faking happiness, so I won’t go there.
Jens,
Right there with you dude — I believe in *all the right things* when I feel good, it’s when I feel crumby that my beliefs narrow down to “punching people in their stupid mouths”.
Forget about “test of your character” stuff.
I don’t have kids though, but I do know people that are *eternally* happy, and like you said, by god they are legitimately happy it seems.
The only strategy I’m finding that is working for me is to make sure I do things that keep my spirits up, then I’m able to navigate my life from a higher altitude. I sure as shit doesn’t work all the time, but it helps A LOT.
The two things that keep me in a good state of mind are exercising and programming… I have no idea why programming, I think it’s a creative outlet for my soul or something. But if I’m working out all the time, and NOT programming, I still absolutely go through bouts of “fuck this, I’m out of here.” type of moods.
– You got any strategies to stay on top of your game? You find your triggers?
I remember when I was married to this other guy, we were walking through the mall with the kids. He was walking two steps ahead, disgusted at me, disgusted at the kids, and I turned to my son who at the time was maybe 4 or 5, and I promised him that I would find a way to make things better. Shortly thereafter, I dumped that hubby’s sorry ass and married Mikal. That was the first step in creating happiness. It is not always easy to do, but the more you work at it, the easier it gets. Soon, you realize that it isn’t STUFF that makes you happy, so you put less emphasis on the importance of getting STUFF, and you realize that as long as you can pay your bills and have some time to hang out with your family, you are richer than a lot of people with millions of dollars.
My pursuit of happiness has morphed into almost a defiance against misery. If I want something, I will find a way to make it happen. I haven’t failed, yet. You just have to remember to make what you want something truly important.
Katie,
Didn’t know that about you — that’s a strong move. How many people in that exact same situation would have stayed in that place for years and years and years for no other reason than leaving would seem scary?
A lot.
As far as happiness, you and Mikal seem happy as a couple of clams, so keep on keeping on!