Atheism used to be just about not believing. Steve Perry would sing, “Don’t stop believin’,” atheists would answer, “Screw you, big nose,” and that was the extent of the rebellion.
“Sorry, Mr. or Mrs. Religious Person. I’m busy baking muffins and I’m a non-believer. Good day.”
That was it.
These days it’s gotta be a whole dog and pony show. New age, atheist chic smart asses have turned simple non-belief and who-gives-a-shit lack of faith into its own stupid religion. Authors such as Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens are the L. Ron Hubbards of this new cult. And, yes, it is a cult like any religion because now atheists, in lieu of minding their own vapid beeswax, are holding conventions and are even trying to reverse their own baptisms.
Yes, the Dawkinians are holding debaptisms, these hilarious, Andy Kaufmanesque geniuses.
Ceremonies in at least states four states (mainly at douchey liberal colleges) have washed that holy water right out of these adorable little creatures’ hair via, of all things, a hair dryer. Yes, a hair dryer, presumably one like what Princess Vespa carted around in Spaceballs, will undo all the hurt and pain that that nasty Christening brought you way back when. And the dryers, according to the article, are marked “reason,” because nothing says reason like having some robed imbecile unbaptize you with a home appliance when any decent clergyman would stick that thing in this broad’s twat sideways.
At these debaptisms, waitresses also serve “de-sacraments,” consisting of crackers and peanut butter, because an atheist’s gotta eat. This reporter is quite saddened to think how many times he’s de-sacramented himself over the years. Good thing only Ritz and Skippy truly have the power to take away the light of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
Will a Hello Kitty hair dryer give these sardonic fuck sticks back the love their fathers never gave them? Only God…oops…I guess no one knows. Would a giant fan completely erase these fuckers’ memories of everything from that first confession to when they shit their pants in the third grade?
Some say that every one of these assholes should take the beating that Jesus took, and I personally would like to give it to them with a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire. That’ll make you forget the moment your crying parents held so dear, you sniveling little babies. Just because Daddy didn’t buy you the cell phone you prayed for or because a priest patted you on the head in a somewhat suggestive manner doesn’t mean you should mock religion until you need Him again.
Said Jennifer Gray in this article (and believe me, I’ll never watch Dirty Dancing again, you bitch), these ceremonies are “a chance to laugh at the silly things I used to believe as a child. It helped me admit that it was OK to think the way I think and to not have any religious beliefs.”
Little Jennifer’s summer is booked solid with ceremonies exorcising Santa Claus with a curling iron, the Easter Bunny with a coffee maker, and the time Uncle Paul buried his manhood in her with a shovel.
These dopes, like Gary Mueller, are even petitioning churches to remove their names from baptismal records because they were baptized without consent. It’s rape by baptism! Why not get de-circumcised too, you fruit?
Many atheists, like Pitzer College’s Phil Zuckerman, are saying, “We’re here. We’re secular. Deal with it,” and tracing the rise of smug atheism to George W. Bush’s presidency.
This leads me to two questions. One, can we ban marriage between atheists? That I can get behind. And two, does this mean that at the end of Barack Obama’s presidency slavery might make a comeback?
You call it a stretch. I call it Punch an Atheist Day.
Some believe a person’s spiritual beliefs are private and personal and those people don’t raise the ire of non-theists, but there’s a huge amount of pro-religious propaganda that permeates everyday life. From the seemingly innocuous “God bless you” when you sneeze, to pro-life bumper stickers, daily affirmations, religious billboards, churches every few blocks, “In God we trust” on every dollar bill, blinking religious signs, the President mentioning God every so often, faith-based initiatives and more. It’s rare to walk anywhere in public and not see some religious advertisement every few moments. Imagine if the cause of non-belief were promoted to even one hundredth this degree? Theists would be totally outraged. Yet if an atheist decides to react to the overwhelming pro-religion propaganda that’s in his face on a daily basis, he’s labeled as “angry”, “militant”, “intolerant” and “extremist” or even “blasphemer” and eligible for a jail sentence in some countries. If you promote your superstitious beliefs in a public space, it’s only fair that we have a right to respond to them.
That’s the point.
‘God bless you’ IS innocuous.
‘In God We Trust’ is not something written anywhere where anyone actually reads it.
You never pay attention to any Church or ‘faith based’ anything, so what is your real point?
100% of our founding fathers and 99% of our founding citizens were theists, and they were mostly right.
Why don’t you go to Sweden to be with the hippies?
Oh yeah – that’s right – they have a ‘state Church’.
Whoops.
actually most of the founding fathers were atheist… And further more this country was based on freedom from religion…
James: From, of, whatever. They also fucked their slaves and shit in buckets.
Most of the founding fathers were atheists. Also: there are a hell of a lot more atheists in Sweden than America (proportionally)
Also, Yashpar, your meatballs? Stop it.
The fact that you don’t understand why that would bother someone who doesn’t share your belief is proof that your rights have not been infringed. Then you too would understand.
As for the article, I hate you, too. However, I don’t adhere to a mythical being that orders me not to hate people. If you keep inciting violence against Atheists, you won’t have anywhere to sit at the lunch table in Hell.
Don’t hate the player, Katy. Hate the game. (Just made that up).
And by the way, if you think lunch in Hell is served in nice little cafeterias with open seating, boy are you in store for a disappoint.
If I’m wrong, however, as of now, I think I can seek out Kim Jung Il, Joe Paterno, even Hitler, and be welcomed with open arms.
Smooches.
mf
Why would Kim Jung II, Paterno (why is he there, he believed in the bullshit), and Hitler (also Christian) welcome you with open arms? Did you disobey a comand? Did you wear a cotton/polyester blend on the Sabbath?
BTW, that was a metaphor…but I’m fascinated. How is lunch served in hell? And, how the fuck would you know?
Oh, Literal Katy, everything I say here is absolutely true. No lies or jokes going on.
BTW, not familiar with Joe Paterno?
I guess I only understand funny jokes, oh hyperbolic mfrissore.
Booooooooooo!!!!
Very true, but it’s the mocking and assumption that all believers are idiots to which I object. And true, one can’t escape God in one’s every day life any more that, say, Hannah Montana. But atheist do have that Nazi word that replaces “Bless you.” And, hey, everyone uses debit cards now. So atheists don’t even have to look upon those filthy, God-loving green things…Anyway, I was due for a rant against something and the smug atheist is my favorite target lately. God love ‘em.
I’m atheist. Most of us don’t assume theists are inferior…yet apparently, you think that theists should assume we’re inferior. We tend to not be hostile until an idiot like you starts ranting.
Yashpar, I don’t know how it is on your home planet, but here we show a little respect to people. And you’re lying. You think Christians fuck their sisters. Admit it.
Let’s pray for them.
Or burn them. Six of one.
There is a very fine line between smarmy atheist and religious zealot.
both of which annoy the piss out of me.
I ain’t advocatin’ pissin’ on ‘em. Maybe spraying both with a hose full of water…or AIDS.
I KNOW! Amway.
I know some nice people that would be HAPPY to HAND DELIVER a copy of the Book of Mormon…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNaHUxi6H-U
What the…is THAT Alfonso Ribeiro? I had no IDEA he was Mormon.
Dude, he’s got TONS of wives. More than Steve Young and Danny Ainge combined.
Oh, those crazy Mormons and their polygamy … what wacky shenanigans will they get into next ?
Now I’d not heard of these de-baptisms before reading this article but judging by the comment attributed to Jennifer Gray, the atheists don’t take these hair dryers and anti-communion food any more seriously than you do, they’re meant to be a bit silly. Yeah, I guess it’s a waste of time but if that’s what they want to do for a laugh then let them. One thing that does worry me though is that you seem to be advocating violence “I call it Punch an Atheist Day” “I personally would like to give it to them with a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire” “Or burn them” and I did feel the comment about “the time Uncle Paul buried his manhood in her with a shovel” was in pretty poor taste, but hey, freedom of speech and all that.
Now, I’m not American and I don’t know if having your name on baptismal records makes any legal difference. If it does then yeah, they should be able to have their names removed but if not, at worst it’s another waste of their time. And why do you want to ban marriage between Atheists? The legal bit will just be covered by a different name (Civil Partnership or whatever) and it’s not like they’re gonna stop breeding coz they’re not gonna believe the whole “No sex before marriage” bit.
Atheists have “that Nazi word” and yeah, maybe some of them do use it (not so much here in the UK, pretty much everybody uses ‘bless you’ whether they’re religious or not, it’s just used as another phrase) but it doesn’t mean they’re agreeing with Nazi doctrine any more than somebody who drives a Volkswagen!
One last point, I invited two Mormons into my home a couple of months back to see what they had to say. I pointed out a couple of things they told me which BY DEFINITION could not POSSIBLY both be true and I think I broke them… they just quietly left. Maybe they’ve blacklisted my house because they’ve not been by again! They left me a book of Mormon though which I thought was very kind. (Anybody heard how this came about? They told me. Now I’m not knocking them but… come on, it sounds a bit suspect doesn’t it?!
Brilliant, I love this article. Neatly sums up everything I hate about religion. Argues for the point that religious people are not dumb but only manages to do so with profanity, sarcasm and a stupidity – could not have asked for a better rant. Keep up the good work, think you may have converted a few more people to ‘smarmy athiesm’ with this…
Convert to Atheism? you mean convert to stupidity, Atheism only brings emptiness and boredom.
This article points out why MOST people dislike people who can’t have faith in anything.
It is said that is un-human to not believe in anything else than yourself.
I’d rather stick with “emptiness and boredom [and extra sleep on a Sunday morning]” than “illogical belief and useless faith”. Note that I’m not saying faith is stupid, but rather that your faith in a higher power is absolutely useless because it doesn’t do anything for you.
Atheists have beliefs — beliefs in things that are concrete, such as houses, family, friend, and beliefs not so concrete (gravity, peace, love)
We also have morals — however we come up with them without a book written by people attempting to control masses and advance civilization through lies some 2,000 years ago.
Those things aside, it is also said that human nature isn’t fully understood and, as there is no clear definition of what a human is mentally, your statement that it is potentially “un-human” to not believe in anything but oneself is unfounded.
thank you for being one of the very few people with any sense here
You’re very welcome, ghtry.
You know, your name autocorrects to “gutty,” and that’s just what you are.
Hugs,
mf
Speaking as a born again Christian I gotta tell you I agree. I hate those goddam hell deservin’ atheist scumbag terrorists – I hate them more that anything in the world. They are always smug and militant; smug when they strap explosives to their bodies, smug when they behead believers and smug when they fly airplanes into buildings. And when they are being intellectual & humane: that’s plain yuk. They are breeding too – getting married & having babies – it’s disgusting.
God hates them too. God is a real hater and that is where I take my cue from – all true believers should hate these godless scum.
by the way it wasn’t atheists that flew airplanes into buildings. they were muslim extremists. are you listening to yourself at all? are you a freaking nazi? saying that atheists should be hated is just as bad as saying all jews should be killed.
Dear lkh,
You goddamned anti-Semite. Next you’ll be saying that atheists have suffered the way blacks and gays have. You should really be grilled by the police for your hate speech.
Also, regarding your Muslim comment, these atheists I’m talking about (the out-of-the-closet, very loud on the internet ones) never go after Muslims and call them stupid. It’s only the Christians, because it’s safe. Christians won’t blow a motherfucker up.
XOXO
mf
maybe atheists are loud on the internet, but we aren’t killing people, just by the way. there is a pretty big difference.
Is there a big difference between killing people and not killing people? I need more. Please explain this to me.
You evaded the Muslin bit, but I guess you mean the couple of wack jobs who have killed abortion doctors?
Ted Bundy was an atheist. Case closed.
Love you!
mf
Now I’m just going to put this out there, being an ex-Christian (I was baptised, had communion and went through Confirmation) and having gone to a catholic high-school.
Now I’ll start by say, yes, I’m atheist. I declined my faith long ago and that’s my choice.
For starters, the old testament teaches a hatred for that which is different, whether it’s worshipping a different god, a different way of life or different way of doing things. This is where for example, “Homosexuality within men is wrong” comes from, the basis for which which historically arose from orgies in ancient societies when many religions was trying to teach the principle of monogamy.
The NEW TESTAMENT is meant as a redirection, an improvement on the old testament which was out dated and taught an eye-for-an-eye mentality, leaving the 10 commandments questionable at times and humanities moral code in tatters ( you know, with brothers killing one another because someone else demanded it.) Stoning non-believers, enslavement and so forth all were a part of this history that Jesus wanted to erase.
The whole point to Jesus’ self sacrifice was to wash away our sins, to take the burden away from those that did not know better and to teach acceptance and love for everyone, not this Blind Hatred I’m seeing from so called religious follower.
ACCEPTANCE and LOVE. God does NOT hate. He is benevolent, all knowing and forgiving. That is the strongest point of your religion.
Not hatred because some guy loves another guy, or someone does not believe in your god, but acceptance of him or her as your brother or sister. You are meant to embrace those different to you, not segregate them and make them feel belittled because this leads to hatred, and in turn war.
Christianity and Catholicism has NEVER taught hate, the proof is all through the bible. And in case you forgot the verse John 4:10-11:
“Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to LOVE ONE ANOTHER.”
Just one of MANY examples of your gods unconditional love for humanity within the bible and follows the teachings of “loving thy neighbour as if they were your Lord God.”
Now I know this only applies to those who are following Christianity or Catholicism (or at least it should, but this seems to be the exception to the rule instead of the overall trend), but you don’t give yourselves the best image sometimes by the rather violent and angered responses to peoples criticism.
Admittedly, atheists should just leave religion well enough alone instead of trying to disprove others beliefs for their own entertainment, but both sides will have their ass-holes in the wings.
The biggest downfall is that religion has been tarnished by many using it as a means to an end, whether that is terrorism or other reasons. 9/11 is a prime example of taking a religious following and twisting the words into hatred and brain washing, or even the increase of Muslims in the UK which lead to the banning of many shopping centres from placing Xmas decorations up due to it “Conflicting with their religion”.
Religion was meant to bring people together, and it did for a while. Now its pushing us apart. Religion is also a CHOICE. Whether or not you believe is up to you and is NOT something to be forced down someone’s throat. Give people the choice to be loved, don’t make them resent your beliefs because you won’t stop harping on about them.
Yes, some atheists take it too far, and I agree, the hair dryer for “removing Baptism” is a daft idea. But I think that this may be conditional to the behaviour above (not saying its the only reason, but it probably contributes to it).
The hatred that atheists face from a religion that is meant to be about acceptance and love is quite appalling, as demonstrated by this article and the behaviour of many of the commenter’s. Although childish perhaps, their “rebellious attitude” might be because they don’t want to conform to a religion and have it slammed into them by the faithful that “not believing” is a crime.
It’s not.
The way both parties approach this is like me saying because a vegetarian doesn’t eat meat that they are committing a crime against my belief of eating meat. Its silly and once again its a personal choice.
Similarly your statement of calling IKH’s comment “hate speech” and then abusing him, when he’s comparing the treatment atheists are given in general by the religious, to similar examples from history where groups are segregated and abused because of not conforming (Such as the segregation of the punk scene in the UK in the 1970′s, they were still in the community, but abused, feared and hated cause they dressed differently).
And how is Atheists killing abortionists related? “Choose-life” Christians have committed similar acts against abortion clinics, assaulting doctors sometimes to the point of murder (breaking the “thou shall not kill” commandment, might I add) so its not segregated to just atheists, especially when considering they are some of the biggest supporters of pro-choice.
There is a huge difference between killing and not killing. Its your commandments, the fundamental principle your entire religion is based upon. There is plenty of hate speech in the internet about Scientology and the Muslim religion as well, just look at all the jokes about the 72 Virgins belief and anything in regards to the Burka.
Its not out of place, and its just as common as the jokes about common religion. The difference is, the English speaking internet is dominated by people who live in catholic/Christian dominant areas where you have door knockers and churches everywhere. Considering that, they are also the biggest religions in the English speaking world, so its no surprise.
I’ve never heard of a Muslim Door knocker, have you?
Also, going back to the commandments “Do not take the lords name in vain.” If you are going to preach about religion, please look at yourselves before criticising another’s cultural or religious stance. There is nothing worse than having someone being high and mighty about their religion while blatantly disregarding some of its most basic commandments.
If memory serves right, that’s two “Hail Mary’s” right there when you go to confession next.
My personal belief is that you should just have some respect. If neither group mocked the other and just RESPECTED the others choice and beliefs, this world would be a much better place.
If someone wants to let God into their life, that is their choice.
If they don’t, you are more than welcome to pray for them, but don’t you dare try and force your opinion on them. They will only resent you and keep this argument going and the cycle of petty hatred will end.
Atheists need to just leave religion well enough alone seeing as we’re meant to not care about it, and a lot of Christians need to read the bible again and stop forcing their belief upon others.
KJ: Huge pop. Fucking Christ, well put.
Except for the part about atheists killing abortion doctors. Never said that.
By the way, this piece started with a Journey reference. How seriously do you wanna take it?
Amen
I’ll fight any one of you motherfuckers! Christ, take a goddamned bit, for fuck’s sake.
I’ve got your back, man…do you wanna borrow my Wonder Woman bullet-deflecting bracelets and my rosary beads?
He doesn’t exist. Get over it and get on with your lives.
I’ll give you $5,000 if you can prove He doesn’t exist.
i’ll give you $5,000 if you can prove that he does.
Dear “I-am-an-atheist”
You no-capitalization using goof, what kind of God would we have if he just showed up at a Subway somewhere and ordered a grinder and a Coke. A shit God, that’s what. God doesn’t just appear like The Great Gazoo because people like you would fall over and die.
Kisses.
mf
Then, honestly, what proof do you have. I wouldn’t die if I “saw God.” I would think that I was hallucinating and see a doctor.
Listen, anonymous jokester. I don’t have to prove anything to the likes of you. There’s a reason it’s called faith, Buddy Hackett.
And my point is not to prove God exists. No one can do that. It’s fucking impossible. The human mind can’t even comprehend that shit. My point is assholes like you who think you’re so intellectually superior to Christians simply because you see yourself as not dumb enough to fall for the old card trick that is faith.
Chickenhead makes a valid point…I think the gauntlet has been thrown…and while you’re at it, try proving that ghosts don’t exist, too.
What NOW, Guy Bailey?
@Andy: what did you tell them?
@Chickenhead: I’ll take the challenge. Define “He”.
You know who He is, Danny Boy. Just remember He who you believed in before Father Murphy stuck his holy schlong in your pooper and ruined you for eternity.
God bless.
Yes, gimme your anal beads and we’ll take on Guy Smiley and the rest of the heathens.
You know, I am totally jealous…I said lots of terrible things about organized religion in Jimmy Cracked the Southern Baptists, and I Don’t Care…and NOBODY CARES.
I’m starting a prayer circle, if anyone cares…
Attacking religion is old hat. It’s like attacking racists or thalidomide babies. Everyone does it now. If you want to be absolutely wacky you have to attack the non-believers, Jesus taught me this, plus a few card tricks. The Pope said it himself – “Attacking zealots is for queers.”
FINE, GOSH…
*folds arms and stomps an angry cloud of sand*
Weren’t Thalidomide Babies those adorably ugly dolls that Coleco made in the early 80s?
No, those were crack babies. Thalidomide Babies were made popular in the 50s with Abbott and Costello’s “The Thalidomide Baby Comedy Hour.”
Oh, YEAH!!! They were in blackface, too, weren’t they?
Of course they were. All pre-Apatow comedy was done in blackface.
Now where are my anal beeds?
BEADS! Whatever! Fuck me, Jesus!
Bend over and I’ll show you!!!!
HA HA HA!!! GET IT??? *deadpan stare*
Hail Mary, this is funny shit.
Okay, since I didn’t immediately notice the misspelling, I just assumed that this was your Tourette.
“BEADS! WHATEVER! FUCK ME, JESUS!!!”
Silly. Tourettes doesn’t SHIT show itself CUNT in writing MOTHERFUCKING ASS COCK.
Still wanna argue the existence of God, shitdicks?
Oh, Hey, we’re still meeting for brunch after you give the sermon this Sunday, right?
That’s right, Remember, the topic will be, “If you don’t believe, go fuck yourself.”
Hey, do I get a trophy or something for 40 comments? I want it in the shape on Bud Abbott nailed to a cross.
Well, 40 comments will only get you a lapel pin in the shape of Fatty Arbuckle…gold plated…
OR, you can have the embroidered oven mitt.
Yeah, when you are pushing 400 – like my TAPS THREAD – then you get a jetted FOOT massager.
Good old religious people. You try to nail them down to a debate and when they get stuck they change the subject. ‘Define He’ you were asked – ‘You know who He is’ was the only reply you managed to get out before continuting with the profanity. Perhaps we should put it in language you would understand – he don’t fucking exist, you are wasting your fucking life, fucking move on. Better? Any of that get through?
Some of the comments are plain silly ( as they should be) and some people are getting far too serious for a “humour” website … sheesh … Never do I see people more agitated and defensive as when someone criticizes their religion 0_0 …
And besides, the pressure is on them to prove/show that “He” DOES exist, not for me to prove he doesn’t, as they are the ones making the claim so adamantly …
No, that’s where you’re wrong. Because other than telling a smarmy douche atheist he or she is a dick for making fun of my beliefs, I don’t give a tenth of a shit whether you believe, live or die. If I could point at God and say, “There. See?” then what good would a thing called faith be?
New age atheists have not only turned atheism into its own religion, they’ve turned the argument over God’s existence into a Red Sox-Yankees rivalry. So I can only chant, “Atheists suck! Atheists suck!”
Let’s go ahead and throw into the mix the old philosophical spice of “by not believing, you acknowledge the possibility of God’s existence…you just simply don’t BELIEVE He exists.”
Now, if you said you were agnostic, that would make more sense…unless you CAN definitely prove that God, the Almighty Father does NOT exist. Can you? Can any of you?
Now, my personal contempt for organized religion does not equal a lack of faith on my part…it’s all you fuckbag religious AND atheist sheeple that exist merely to mock and persecute others that piss me off…you can all go take a flying leap.
I am not backing away from a debate OR changing any subject…I define “He” as GOD, the creator of ALL…now, prove HE doesn’t exist.
tick tock, motherfuckers…
Proving the non-existence of god- that’s a difficult one.
Tell me how you disprove the existence of Zeus or the Invisible Pink Unicorn and I’ll borrow that argument . . . if I may.
tock tick
“some people are getting far too serious for a “humour” website” … I don’t know about the site but I haven’t found anything amusing on this page. A few people actually try to communicate something, while most others are potty mouths who fart obscure referenced and consider themselves amusing.
As to disproving God or the Invisible Pink Unicorn, it’s easy only if they are defined, and it’s done by pointing out they are self-contradictory as concepts. The Unicorn is either Invisible, or Pink, but can’t be both at the same time.
Omniscience is a self-contradictory concept alone. From this article:
<blockquoteGod could create a solipsistic being and make that being so that it thinks it created the universe. It could give such a being all knowledge except knowledge that it itself was created. Such a being would have no idea that it was, in fact, a created being and that there was another, higher, creator. If God wanted to create such a deluded being, it could do so. The problem is, our theorized God itself does not know if it exists in such a state of ignorance. In short, God cannot know if it does actually know everything.
would your god want us to turn the other cheek while you are attacking us with the baseball bat?
God had His only son take one fuck of a beating and be nailed to a cross. The least I could do for Him is go Ian Rotten on an atheist’s ass.
And not only do pink unicorn’s rule, but their horns cure poison.
Hey, fuck you, “God is Imaginary,” The Thalidomide Baby Comedy Hour is HILARIOUS. I won’t have you take that from me. Your biases may render anti-atheist material unfunny, but I’m damn proud of that joke.
I can’t prove that Zeus doesn’t exist…or his pink unicorn. In fact, I think you have illustrated MY point, rather well.
All I know about Zeus is that he teamed with “Macho Man” Randy Savage against Hulk Hogan and Brutus Beefcake at Summerslam ’88. And if you’re gonna tell me that Hogan and the Macho Man don’t exist, mister, then we’re gonna tangle.
the bible is a great book but it is folklore. the story of jesus was plagerised from earlier god hero figures. If an apologist can come up with a better explanation than the only one that has been offered for the last 2000 years by St justin, that the devil counterfeited those stories of the jesus like figures, in advance of the comming of jesus, then i should like to hear it.
Richard Dawkins, evolutionary biologist and prominent atheist, was (at least) once asked “What if you’re wrong? What will you say to God, if one day you die, and go to stand before Him ?” I’m paraphrasing here, but his response was essentially “Well, I would ask why He took such great pains to hide his existence from those who sought the truth.”
@Terry – Yes, it is a great collection of stories, but by no means do I consider it a chronicle of history.
And why does God always appear in visions and “whisper into the ear” of crazy people ? of lunatics ? To have them go out and spread His word… If He’s the all-powerful creator, can’t he just like step up to some sort of celestial microphone and be all “Ahem, excuse me, people of the world. Hi. Let me introduce myself — I am GOD. That is all.”
Look, the Bible was written by dinosaurs. Everyone knows that. And Richard Dawkins may have been the best host of The Family Feud, nearly edging out the guy who hung himself in a mental hospital, but he and his thoughts on God can go screw.
What the hell kind of God would just show up all the time and say, “Hey. How you doing? Nice dress. You know, I’m God. Wanna fuck?” That’s like Nazi Germany or 1984 if God is always around saying, “Nope. I wouldn’t do that, fuckface. I’ll tear your cock off and send you straight to hell.” God ain’t that creepy, you simplistic silly geese.
Atheists. christians. muslims. jews. whatever. I find it best to ignore them all as best as I can and do my own thing. Since I don’t believe in a spiritual god anyway, why even try to make a point? do whatever you gotta do to make yourself comfortable and happy in this world. Leaving people who don’t believe in what you do alone would go a long way in helping MANY people live comfortable and happy lives.
Punching atheists? sounds pretty extreme and immature to me. Why don’t you make a move over to the Middle East where all the rest of the extreme people who don’t mind their own business like to hang out.
Bunch if the hilarious and sarcastic author of this piece went to the Middle East, how is he going to punch atheists willy nilly like he so clearly enjoys doing? Unless you mean the wonderful rock club on Cambridge, MA. That might be an idea. Start there.
Very interesting comments if a trifle immature. I must say I cannot decide if mfrissore is a card carrying lunatic/nazi/skinhead or some other form of retard but then the world is full of colorful sorts and he is about colorful as a psychedelic LSD trip. I think he might actually have a swastika tattooed to one side of his neck and an inverted crucifix on the other. Having said that he really does come over as the kind of fundamentalist that might carry out the kind of action that we saw on 9/11 so maybe he has an Allah tattoo on his ass.
Now about the existence or non existence of God – I BELIEVE that the theists have never PROVED its existence but neither have the ATHEISTS DISPROVED it. So I prefer to work on mathematical probability and I have to say that in my extremely humble opinion the probability of a creature such as God existing is extremely low. But of course extremely low is not zero so inn the unlikely event that HE (very difinitely not SHE) exists what would His name be? God, Jesus, Yaweh, Allah, Zeus, Budda, or any one of a plethora of different versions. So hey, maybe there are lots of Gods, maybe one for every country or even city.
You throw all this swastika business around like it’s a bad thing, but I happen to be a fan of the era.
Praise be to Allah, you silly, silly goose.
And now I’m a goose steppin’ outta here.
Any more unfunny comments?
Hope you’re joking about being fan of the era. War is awful.
i liked your blog though.
just being curious. Don,’t be mad.
x
Fucking whiny atheist babies. You’re all a barrel of yuks when it comes to bragging about desecrating hosts on youtube, or invading some religious forum on the internet to “enlighten” the great unwashed, but somebody goes on the offensive and you get all prim about profanity and refusal to engage. Take it like a man or shut the fuck up; you’ve had it coming for a while now, so stop the bawwwing into your neckbeards, turn the fucking computer off, and go talk to a real girl. For once.
Stupid fucking theist! Only because you lack a decent education and were indoctrinated as a child doesn’t mean jackshit. Dumb fucking asshole!
Did it really take you six weeks to come up with that? You must have written away to Christopher Hitchens to tell you what you should say. It has the undeniable stamp of his so-called intellect all over it.
NJH you are the worst kind of religious person there is
You know… it’s because of people like you that Jihads where started and millions of people died
Oh, and by the way, did you really just blame terrorism on atheism?
and 9/11 to boot?
they were all extremely religious people
people JUST like you
who believed that WE were the infidels
so WE should be killed
oh by the way, an infidel, a word which gets tossed around all of the time, means somebody who does not believe in religion so…..
you just COMPLETELY proved the point of atheists who convert from ANY religion so they could stop being a part of what you feel is “just” and “right” thinking
haha
also
“God hates atheists”?
the bible says that, right?
and the bible also says “God accepts all”
right?
explain that one to me
Hey Ho everybody,
What are you all arguing about.Get back to the true & only god, that is the god of Moses,Abraham,Jesus(the real one & Mohammad)
There is no other god than this.The other gods are just created by men.
And why is it Sooooo necessary for an atheist to be around yelling like mad to everyone that God doesn’t exist? eh… can’t you atheists just live your lives without attacking people’s beliefs? is it so hard?
The atheists’ exaggerated obsession of disproving the Christian/Catholic God makes me believe they are trying to destroy the bible and the believers faith to justify their “Sinful” or inmoral attitudes, like illicit sex, masturbation, drugs and pornography, homosexuality, abortions among other inmoral actions… it all seems like a dull effort of justification of their depraved and deviated behaviours.
Ever met an Atheist that is against homosexuality? nope
Ever met an Atheist group that is against abortion? never
Ever met an Atheist that wants to keep his/her virginity until marriage? hehehe, they don’t exist.
Ever met an Atheist that doesn’t loathe religion because it requires sexual repression? NEVER, it seems all atheists hate religion for this CERTAIN reason. Sexual repression is the true reason of their hatred or at least the origin, they later start to look for “flaws” in the bible to “convince” others that everything the bible says its wrong… when themselves are willing to give their bodies to anything that feels good.
It is really smart to do the “do” when just about anyone who does it is infected with and STD, wow smart move.
Right on, Mr. Japanese-or-chinese-characters-guy (which I don’t have the correct software to view)
“Smarmy” is probably the best word to describe these people, if not “Hella Fucking Annoying”.
But you’ve noticed most of them are on the internet? Yahoo answers is their breeding ground. While christians from the Red Cross and Salvation army are out in 3rd world countries saving lives these atheists are on internet sites whining about christians and how we are all brainwashed fucks. Seriously, get a life. You want to be “edgy”? Do something useful.
Like a classic schoolyard bully. Every one of these people who feel it is their non-existant god-given duty to ridicule christians. It’s a sign of insecurity. Psychologist time. We can draw one of the following conclusions:
1. They are not actually that sure there isn’t a God, so they try to justify their beliefs with “Hey, I can’t be wrong because they are way more messed up than I am”.
2. They actually do believe in a God and are being a rebel without a cause. Author said it best. Early childhood tragedy? Check.
3. Guilt. All this stuff about “repentence” is just so depressing! I don’t want to take personal responsibility! Because God, the creator of everything, couldn’t POSSIBLY understand what I’m going through! Who is he to Judge me? Screw him! And screw all those believers too!
Now, that wasn’t so hard, was it? They’re actually Pretty fucking simple-minded people.
You’re leaving out many other possibilities. I, an atheist, am not sure there is not a god. I can logically see a universe that was create by a/multiple sentient being(s). I cannot, however, believe that a man came back to life after he was executed. I cannot believe that he cured diseases that we can’t cure today. That a man could walk on water. That a man could be born without a second set of chromosomes to match his mothers.
You’re forgetting about the atheists who could potentially be deist, but certainly not Christian, Jewish, or Muslim. Or Hindu, Buddhist, etc.
So in response to your post, I don’t justify my beliefs by putting down others — I just believe in a more rational existence. I don’t believe in your god so I’m not a rebel without a cause. And I’m certainly not guilty — were I guilty, I wouldn’t come out and openly argue my position, would I?
And, given that I was able to form a coherent, logical response, I’m probably not a “Pretty fucking simple-minded [person].”
And in response to your previous post, this isn’t about the good that Christian organizations do — there are non-religious organizations that do good work, such as the red cross (for which I am saddened that you labeled the organization Christian solely to support your position)
Finally, that guy was Japanese
If you think it is possible that there might be a god, you are not an atheist.
That makes you an agnostic.
I’d appreciate it if we could all properly lable ourselves. It’s like people who say hy ate Catholics, yet believe also in hinduism. You are either a Hindu or a catholic, you can’t be both or else the words loose their meaning.
http://img.ngfiles.com/store/penicorn.jpg
let’s hope you can put pictures in here…
Anyway the pink invisible unicorn is actually a very accurate carricature of god. It’s exactly what the believers believe in. When the OT of the Bible was written by ignorant savages of desert tribes, it was quite clear who god was – an angry male dude living in the sky who takes himself and his petty feelings of inadequacy way too serious and takes out his issues on the stupefied peasants living on the little flat earth below him.
When (most of) mankind discovered that this picture cannot possibly be an accurate depiction of reality, they started to reimagine and redefine god. Then it was discovered that the the sun is at the center of this universe, that planetary motion is easily explainable without constant godly attendance and just 150 years ago that you don’t need a creator to go from an amoeba to a monkey.
Where is god now? The blatantly physical realm he once inhabited was explored and he wasn’t there. So step by step people moved him into another dimension, one of pure fantasy that doesn’t actually exist. God is exactly like the pink invisible unicorn, a nonimpacting nobody from nowhere whose aledged attributes contradict themselves. And just as the pink invisible unicorn, god totally disappears if you don’t beleive in him.
Just like Tinkerbell.
I don’t understand how when atheists stand up for themselves in a religious society, trying to have things changed for the better – equality for all, they’re looked down upon because they won’t just shut up and go along with religion. It is a norm in the United States to have your baby boy circumsized, or tell a woman she cannot have an abortion, or tell homosexuals they cannot marry one another… These policies aren’t coming from anywhere but religion. Absolutely absurd that these people try to run other’s lives when it has no effect on them. I’m so sorry that atheists who stand up for their beliefs make you so uncomfortable, that must be such a horrid experience… meanwhile baby boys are having their dicks chopped up, but that’s ok… Keep you god(s) out of my life.
Not to point fingers, but, jesus said it didn’t matter if you were circumcised or not. The cutting of baby penis is not required of Christians.
Also, didn’t circumcision have a higenic effect back in the old testament days?
Besides, just because people don’t agree with what god did, doesn’t make god nonexistent.
Penis has a great point!!!
Ahaha your a dumb asshole you know that? I thought (most) religions were supposed to be peaceful, hmmmm your proving that wrong. Listen you shit for brains, Just because you don’t like what other people are doing, you don’t have to bitch about it on the computer. Let’s seeeee, if Jesus were alive he wouldn’t make angry remarks about people doesn’t like on a computer, those are just empty threats. You are a stupid fuck, im not gonna be like you and make empty threats, all i have to say is, Fuck you, Fuck YOUR god, God would hate you, and just because i don’t believe in god, doesn’t mean that I go around parading that to other people you dumb piece of shit. Go fuck yourself asshole
Lol. You are funny. You are parading you ideas right now.
Oh no, someone exercised freedom of speech!
Lol….lol…lol…
i believe in Christ god for many reasons one of theme being all of the amazing healing’s and miracles he has done i am not saying that atheist are stupid or anything like that. you atheist believe what you want to believe, i do not want you to go to hell but i just do not think you can be convinced unless you have witnessed in person or more specifically felt for your selves the healing power of Jesus. i hope you will be convinced but if not than that is you not me. GOD bless. p.s. i am only 15 so i am pretty sure there are spelling errors reason being i am in a hurry.
This article has amused me to no end~ Now…How was it ever so specifically phrased?Oh, right:
“Will a Hello Kitty hair dryer give these sardonic fuck sticks back the love their fathers never gave them? Only God…oops…I guess no one knows. Would a giant fan completely erase these fuckers’ memories of everything from that first confession to when they shit their pants in the third grade?”
Now, It saddens me deeply to see crap like this posted anywhere-let alone even thought of. To clear base 1,i don’t care what kind of athiest you are categorizing me as.I am an athiest, that’s all there is to it, i don’t give a damn about the”New age, atheist chic smart asses have turned simple non-belief [into] who-gives-a-shit lack of faith”.People like you make life 10 times more complex than it ought be by punishing those who just down right don’t care to hear your brainwashing babble.Another quote: “Sorry, Mr. or Mrs. Religious Person. I’m busy baking muffins and I’m a non-believer. Good day.” Excuse me? Please tell just who exactly said those very words?At any rate, could you live with yourself if you clubed me to death with a “baseball bat barbed with wire”?Unless you plan to kill a just-turned16 year old girl like myself for having my own belief, or disbelief , just learn how to express yourself through less vulger means.Think about it,would you?I tend to take things very literally.
So these fucking retarded aethiests are going to tell me that the chance of this life being made is almost close to the number of impossible and that everything in this world is perfectly made like oxygen % and how far away we are from the sun and that we have cells that have more than a million jobs that every trillion of them do..and that we have exactly 46 chromosomes and that each parent splits exactly 23..holy shit..do you realize the chance of this world becoming this perfect?are you fucking retarded to not realize that this world has a Creator?You are lucky that he is merciful enough to allow you to come to the day when you realize it..in this life or the next..but the next will be too late for the nonbelievers..you will all perish in hell if you don’t change soon..Realize it..please , for your own sakes i’m trying to help you.
And i don’t hate aethiests at all..i know that sounds contradicting coming from the first comment i made..but i really don’t. It’s just when they talk so much shit about religion and don’t realize for them selves what they are doing..Yes i believe science is correct..Yes i believe we should use reason..Yes..I am not christian,i am Muslim..and i’m leaving now so don’t go making comments about terrorists because judging a religion based on few of its people is just ridiculous..i don’t hate aethiests in fact it’s against me to hate them..i’m supposed to be far and kind to all , but it just enrages me completely seeing these comments.
I’m an atheist and I will not burn in hell because hell doesn’t exist. You don’t need to help save me from it. There is no such place. When I die, rather, when we all die, we go into the ground, we decompose, and what we were is reused. There’s nothing beyond that; there’s nothing magical, mystical, or ‘holy’. I realize fully what I’m doing: attempting to correct people who are wrong in order to make the world a more perfect place. You say you believe science is correct and that we should use reason. What reason do you have for believing it is more likely that your god exists than the easter bunny, Zeus, Ra, or Quetzalcoatl?
Some days true and final death sounds wonderful. Non-existence sounds like perfect rest from the toil of this thing called life.
But honestly, in my darker moments, if I didn’t believe in god, I would just kill myself. God can save lives. It can give hope and extend a life.
I have sever depression and the psychologists and drugs could not save me.
Jesus saved me.
Real or not real, the concept of a god gave me the will to live, work, play, fuck, dance, sing, and hope. A hope that all the evil done by religious and non-religious people happens because we have freedom of choice and with true freedom comes the ability to choose wrong. I don’t know why god made it this way, but I take comfort in knowing god did, because it must have a greater meaning.
So you prefer to be soothed with lies.
See, “Wisdom,” that’s what the smarmy atheists do. People who are struggling and turn to God in their time of need, and are comforted by that, an atheist like you looks at them and says, “So you prefer to be soothed by lies.” Holy fuck, what a thing to say. Why not just kick this person in the face?
Dear “Yeah, I’m an Atheist, what about it?”
Just turned 16, eh? Let’s talk, and we’ll leave God out of it. Well…
Wait, has any of the atheists here blow-dried their baptism away?
Anyhoo, it is so wonderful to see that my lil’ bit of humor is still getting comments nearly two years later. I have quite a bit of catching up to do. First of all:
LustfulPigDog – I Love you.
FuckYou – Fuck you.
Dear Matt,
Are you quoting the Bible? That’s so adorable! The BIble may indeed say “God accepts all” and that “God hates atheists.” I think this was a debate Mark and John had for years. Mark though God was very loving and hugged and kissed everyone, even atheists, while John saw God more like “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, a being not to be trusted.
Author
Dearest Penicorn,
If you’re calling TInkerbell a “nonimpacting nobody from nowhere whose alledged attributes contradict themselves,” then you and I are gonna tangle. Next you’ll have a go at Mickey Mouse, and that I will never stand for.
Author
Dear WTF,
Now you and your unfortunate initials listen here. If mocking the beliefs of an entire group of people is changing things for the better, then why isn’t MY mocking of THEIR mocking changing things for the SUPER better. Ha-ha. Answer that, shitdick.
Secondly, have you ever seen an uncircumcized penis? Scary as a motherfucker. And if you think circumcision is chopping an entire cock off, you have the wrong doctor.
Lastly, what I also object to is atheists treating themselves like homosexuals or blacks in the 60s. You’re not an oppressed minority. Grow up. You can be mocked just as Christians are. Fuckface.
XOXOX
Author
Now, Rob. Sweet, beautiful, sexy Rob. Despite your using phrases like “shit for brains” and confusing “your” and “you’re,” you interest me.
You wrote, “Just because you don’t like what other people are doing, you don’t have to bitch about it on the computer.”
This “computer,” also known as “the Internet,” is where EVERYONE does just that. Including the lovely atheists. In fact, I’m pretty sure the new atheism/atheist chic movement was born on the Internet.
Next, read the article again and absorb the laughs.
Last, I will go fuck myself because I have an incredibly long, circumcized, Christian penis and can do that. Fear the Christian cock of God.
XOXOX
Author.
Finally, Joshua. A Biblical name for such a non-Biblical boy. Why haven’t you changed your name like lil’ Jennifer Gray changed her baptismal situation? Maybe something unbiblical, like Hunter, Dawson, or Fuckstick.
And, Fuckstick, if you know something about the afterlife, share it, motherfucker. I gots to know. No hell? Then what was the film “Little Nicky” all about? Answer that!
Lastly, don’t ever question the existence of the Easter Bunny on this or any other Web site ever again. Got me, Fuckstick?
As you were. God, I miss this site.
Author
Hah, my name is irrelevant. I didn’t choose it and I see no point in changing it simply because it could be connected with beliefs I don’t hold. Although your ad hominem attack was slightly amusing, it did nothing to support your… argument? I hope you’re trying to troll and not serious because I lul’d
Keep up the good work, /b/rother.
You’re the man, Josh!
Here’s the thing…religious people have a LOVE for God and Jesus and all of that. When you slander religion, you slander God. That’s like going up to someone and insulting their mother but worse. Also Atheists have a habit of calling everyone who is religious an idiot. That is another slap in the face.
Now a non-religious person seeing all of this…you see you never really see religious people calling Atheists stupid. Yeah, you see them being called jerks from time to time (like here) but it seldom happens. Also, Atheists aren’t having any thing (that should be) dear to them insulted. I mean, if an Atheist really gets upset over the dollar have “In God We Trust” in the back and over how much “advertisement” religion gets, it’s clear they’re either being spiteful or viewing this as some sort of pathetic competition.
I would like to show you PRAY, a free and open source application to: * learn to pray The Holy Rosary, The Chaplet of The Divine Mercy; * meditate on the mysteries of the Rosary listening to Bible readings; * meditate with beautiful depictions of the mysteries; * count the prayers using an on-screen virtual Rosary; At SourceForge: http://pray.sourceforge.net/
Thanks for this post. What really bothers me about militant atheism is that these guys think they’re being daring. But ridicule of religion hasn’t been daring since Lenny Bruce (who I love, by the way). These jackasses need to distinguish between freedom OF religion, and freedom FROM religion. Our constitution requires the former, prohibits the latter.
Atheists are the worst kind of intolerant pricks in the universe. I wish Atheists would shut up and stop ridiculing religious people. It almost makes me wish we could sue these jerks for hate speech. I am against censorship but Atheists are such creeps I am willing to make an exception.
Juniper, the universe isn’t picky when it creates intolerant pricks, they come in all shapes, sizes and religious orientations unfortunately
I’m an Atheist and proud of it. But do YOU know what HATE is really all about? I mean, have you ever Been Hated strictly for your Beliefs and Only because of your Beliefs?
Have you ever been LABELED or pigeonholed because of your beliefs?
Well, me and my kind certainly have–or, rather, for our Lack of belief… Read on…
I read that American Atheists’ Communications Director Blair Scott gets his inbox flooded whenever he or one of his associates appears on FOX News. Many Christians expressed their anger by calling for the death of Atheists on the Fox Facebook page which reportedly had some 200 comments. For just a quick taste, and to emphasize what people like myself have to put up with these days, I’ve posted a few verbatum because their mentality is worth repeating:
Paul Altum – “I say kill them all and let them see for themselves that there is God.” Bob O’Connell – “Shoot them. Shoot to kill.”
Joe Martinez – “TO ALL ATHEIEST DIE AN GO TO HELL HAHA IF I COULD ID SHOOT ALL OF YOU IN THE HEAD WITH A 12GAUGE.”
Casey M Jones – “Shoot em. At least we know where they’re going, waste of oxygen.”
Christ Dunn – “I thin we should hange the leader of that group on the cross with nails through their hands and feet, place a crown of thorns upon their head, RAM a spear through their side all after being whipped and beaten publicly! Just so they can endure what Christ did so they understand the sacrifice behind what that cross symbolizes.”
Bob O’Connell – “They’re atheists so it won’t matter if you kill them.”
Sindy Clock – “I love Jesus, and the cross and if you dont, I hope someone rapes you!”
Eileen Rourke – “Any court or lawyer who takes this case should be hung!!!!!! If you look at some of the people who are atheists they are all miserable looking because they don’t have any faith in anything. You should go live in another country. You have taken enough of my rights away.”
Hans Anderson – “atheist has no rights a snail has more rights than a atheist has i say throw them out to the sharks let them eat them like the ate bin laden.” Michael Perri – “these people are f’ing scum of the earth. can we start killing them now? few groups are filled with more hatred than atheists.”
Now just imagine yourself on the receiving end of this shit. In fact, I dare you to. Look me in the eyes and tell me that Christianity is the Religion of Love. Tell me that Perri’s right that “few groups are filled with more hatred than Atheists.” or how about Rourke’s statement how Atheists’ have taken away her rights… Enough! All I read is Hate! They’ll have their way with me sooner or later, I’m sure. With luck I’ll be 90 years old on life support at the time… A nurse or intern will read my dossier and sees “Religion: Atheist” and immediately thereafter shuts the machine off so she can fulfill that silent wish of sending an Atheist to burn in Hell forever…
Anyone else care to join the flock of brave and bold Atheist Haters?
Jesus Christ! Shit just got real. I guess they need to investigate ole Chris Hitchen’s death. Look, if you want to lump all Christians together with these nitwits like a bigot,then go ahead. I won’t stop you. Am I supposed to be trumped by your few whack jobs who said these in whatever context? Over all the Internet screeds saying I’m an idiot for believing in the Boogey Man? Am I supposed to say, you know what, you’re right, call me stupid and worthless. In fact, maybe there is no God. Maybe the thousands of Christians out helping sick and starving people are assholes too.
Fuck. This is supposed to be a humor. Wucca wucca.
“if you want to lump all Christians together with these nitwits like a bigot,then go ahead”
Why not, you “lump”ed all atheist together as smug and humorless, double standard?
Yeah, the difference is you’re defending a belief in absolutely nothing. The right to believe in fuck all.
Do you know I used to make aborted fetus jokes on a conservative message board and no one ever got as pissed off as the atheists here? There’s something wrong with that. Something wrong with me too, obviously, but fuck, your right to think call Christians dummies is damn important, isn’t it?
Every christian comment here is a shining example of the statement “If you could reason with religous people, there would be no religous people.” You should think long and hard about why you feel so threatened. I understand that it’s difficult to think about. There is no god. Death is scary. This life is all we will know, so we should treat each other as kindly and generously as possible. Or, you can be a christian and feel justified in wanting to beat people with a baseball bat because they possess critical thinking skills.
You mean like you’re doing right now? Seriously, you went out of your way, looking for a religious site, just to bash and troll any religious person you can for disagreeing with you.
Fun Fact: Atheism is consider a religion.
Thank you, Erik! I wrote probably 100 things for this site, 3-4 years ago when it had a different name, and this is the only one that still gets comments, because the hardcore “religious” atheists love trolling to laugh at Christians. I don’t think taking baseball bats to atheists is in the cards.
Fun Fact: Atheism is only considered a religion by the religious. Everyone else considers it a rejection of religion, gods and the like due to lack of evidence.
You don’t get to change definitions to suit yourself.
You again, Wizzy? The fact that guys like Hitches and Richard Dawson do tours and have followers who celebrate the belief in not a frigging thing, the fact that the new atheists go through all these rituals, the fact that so many of you twits have commented on this silly lil’ story…guess what? You’re a stupid religion. Your statement was neither fun, nor fact. And I can change whatever I want to. I’m one of God’s delightful children!
God day, Sir!
This story’s nearly three years old. In one ear and out the other, people.
Dawkins and Hitchens don’t have “followers who celebrate the belief”. They have admirers who agree with them on this particular topic. No one is codifying what they say as dogma or doctrine or belief.
Once again, because you don’t seem to understand:
Atheism is a REJECTION of god claims due to lack of evidence. It is NOT a belief system with a set or rules or ideologies or morals. It doesn’t inform the actions of anyone other than to say they don’t accept the claims of religions. There is NOTHING about atheism that makes it a religion.
Also, you assume entirely too much. I am not an atheist.
Then again, you’re not one of “God’s [sic] delightful children” either.
Being wrong is what you’re all about today.
Oh, and I’m a ‘ma’am’ and if you don’t want a three year old story commented on, close comments or remove the story. Otherwise, suck it up, punkin. These are the knocks in the real world. Stop whining about getting the attention you so desperately and obviously crave.
Or you could get your god to smite me. That would be cool!
Listen, buster, don’t come around here pretending to be a woman with boobs and other naughty bits.
The bat is the cross. It was a…Christ on a pony, atheists only have a sense of humor when they’re laughing at Christians.
Wow this forum is way old!
So i just wanted to pop in and put my bit in after reading all the comments.
I am an Atheist who despises Atheists like the ones your article describes. All MY Atheist ‘tag’ means is that I do not believe in the existence of an omnipotent being. I do not hate those who do, freedom to think for yourself is really important. Many of my friends are of varying religions, we just tend to avoid talking about it if we’ve been drinking
Oh, and I don’t think violence is the answer, but I must admit, anyone who thinks they can cleanse themselves of baptism with a hairdryer needs something done to them.
It’s so old, KateInAus, that I, the original author, have since converted to atheism. They’re making me read all of the Hitchens and Dawkins books, AND I gotta do this blowdry thing.
“atheists only have a sense of humor when they’re laughing at Christians.”
That’s a very unchristian and unfair thing to say isn’t it?.
I’m sure they are far less discriminatory then what you suggest and are able to laugh at Christians, Muslims, Hindu’s, and those who worship Jupiter, Osiris, kali or the great JuJu up the mountain equally.
You Christians seem to think you have the monopoly on mythical creatures, so let me ask you why are you a Christian and not a Muslim, or a Buddhist or a Hindu?
Could it possibly be a combination of location and parentage?
Listen, Mr. Frank Spencer, if that is your real name.
#1 How is it un-Christian to say atheists have no sense of humor? Be it better to lieth and say, the new atheists are the Marx Brothers of the 21st century?
#2 Don’t you ever joke about the Great Juju or you and I will engage in fisticuffs like you’ve never seen.
#3 Yes, location, location, location. That’s what they say about Religion. I don’t begrudge any other religions. That’s why it’s called faith. Neither do I begrudge the everyday, ordinary run-off-the-mill atheist. But if the new, point-and-laugh atheists from the trolls on these here Internets to the like of Bill Maher and Ricky Gervais can bash the hell outta folks like me, I’ll give a little back.
#4 I wrote things on this site about the sweet, angelic teens who molested elderly people in a nursing home; actress Rebecca Schaefer coming back from the dead; and Helter Skelter being an inside job. Do you see why I say atheists are humorless fuckwads?
God bless,
mf
Well Mr/Mrs mfrissore which is undoubtedly your real name
#1 Sorry, I mistakenly believed that Christianity was based on love, compassion understanding, tolerance and turning the other cheek.
But you’re absolutely correct, there is nothing unchristian about jumping to wild conclusions that have no basis in fact and no supporting evidence, please accept my deepest apologies. What was I thinking.
And how do you know the nature of the fisticuffs I have or have not seen?
Was it revealed to you?
#2 How could I joke about the great JuJu? as a ‘New Atheist’, surly I’m only able to joke about Christians and christianity? by your own admission it would be an impossibility to ridicule the great Juju..it would undermine and make ridiculous your whole premise. .
#3 You don’t begrudge other religions, which is probably just as well as you realize if you had been born in another country or another culture you could very well have inherited a completely diffident set of values and beliefs, which of course would have also been the one true faith.
The problem I have with faith is that it’s dependent on trust (and perhaps Pixie Dust),
It’s hard to trust a God with the track record that most of them have, I’ll restrict my self to the God of the old and new testaments (just to keep you happy), and say a god who condones and even instigates acts of rape, revenge, genocide and misogynistic behavior, and acts in a manner that can only be described as psychopathic is not one i’d willingly turn my back toward (difficult when he’s omnipresent ) .
It always amazes me how thin skinned the theists are, they can dish it out in the form of holy wars, persecutions, inquisitions, forced conversion, suppression of scientific knowledge burning’s at the stake, complicity in war crimes, complicity in sex crimes…but make a couple of jokes on the TV and the theists throw there toys out of the pram.
Don’t you think you’ve had things your own way long enough?
#4 What is the relevance of angelic teens ,Rebecca Schaefer and Helter Skelter? and no I don’t see why that makes you think atheists are humorless fuckwads,
Perhaps their humor is a little too sophisticated for your folksy homespun sensibilities and it’s going a little over your head?
Are the fore mentioned Bill Maher and Ricky Gervais humorless?
Let’s just make out, Frank, and cut the bullshit. Do you want my number? Your use of the word “pram” leads me to think you’re in the UK or Mars or some shit. I’ll travel, what do I give a fuck?
Gracious. The fact that some people want to have a ceremony to celebrate releasing themselves from the bondage of religion certainly has put a twist in your panties, hasn’t it? Did it ever occur to you that this was more in good fun than anything else or is humor beyond your religious mind?
And you want to beat these people with “a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire” to demonstrate what? Christian kindness? The love of Christ? Tolerance and love?
Charming.
Considering all the war, misery, slavery, abuse, torture, pillage, murder and plain ol’ hatred promoted and perpetrated by your religion, I’m not surprised that your first reaction to those who wish to have a small, private celebration to commemorate a milestone in their personal lives is violence and vicious intolerance. You once again exhibit and demonstrate the reason why I avoid Christians as I would avoid having roadkill in my kitchen. As a group, you’re dangerous. As individuals, vastly unpleasant and vividly rude in the name of your god.
This example of Christian behavior you show makes it obvious what a pitiful excuse for a human you’ve allowed yourself to become.
Listen, here, Wisdom, if that is your real name. Bud out. Men are talkin’.
Disable comments if you don’t want a reply, snookums.
Apparently, you’re afraid to address the real, solid points I made and choose to resort to misogyny and chauvinism as your reply.
Strawman much?
If you can’t address the points I’ve made, there’s no shame in admitting it.
Oh, and the phrase is “butt out”, dear. If you’re going to be rude, do be correct.
No, I meant “Bud,” as in R. Bud Dwyer. LOL ; )
I can’t disable the comments. Not my web site. Plus, this is fun for me.
Believers cannot debate non-believers. They can only pray for them.
God bless you, and please have that cold looked at.
You literary references are as bad as your humor. Or was that supposed to be a pun. Whatever, it didn’t make sense even after you explained it. I think you’re trying to cover your ass for a spelling error.
If this is fun for you, don’t complain about commentary.
Believers CAN debate non-believers but you’re afraid to do so. You just cop out of the hard questions and obvious holes in your beliefs by claiming your exempt because you’re a believer. You’re just unable to defend it. You don’t have to admit it. Your slip is showing.
You’re not praying for me. You’re talking to yourself.
I don’t HAVE a cold. What are you talking about?
Well, Google Dwyer and then realize I was just kidding and I love you. Let’s go away together, Wizzy. You and me against the world. The Boogey Man will be our co-pilot.
Here, I’ll let this website do my debating. Ravi makes great ahruments. I don’t want to have just copy pasta things. This person studies religion for a living, I’m too busy painting to learn debate tactics and honestly, I don’t want to learn debate tactics. But I’ve heard this guy make some fantastic points.
Warning, his stuff is not “soft”, politically filtered, or easy for some to hear.
Site: http://www.rzim.org/
So Atheism is consider a religion only by those who are religious?
So by your logic, only Atheists consider Atheism a non-religion.
But go look it up if you want. By definition and legal standard, it is considered a religion.
Erik, by my logic, people who understand what constitutes a religion understand that atheism is not a religion because it makes no claims.
Atheism is a religion like bald is a hair color, like unemployment is a job, like celibacy is sexual activity, like not playing chess is a hobby.
By DEFINITION, atheism is not a religion since it has nothing in common with religion. By LEGAL STANDARD, it is not a religion since it has no doctrine, dogma, rules, moral implications or tenets.
Please explain how it is you think atheism is a religion. How do you define a religion? How does atheism fit that definition?
The religious want to call atheism a religion in order to claim it is faith-based as religion is. This is call a “false equivalence”. There is no faith required to be an atheist. Atheism relies solely on evidence. I’ve never seen an atheist who does not freely admit that they would change their mind if good, solid, falsifiable evidence was presented. Religion simply does not supply that evidence.
My karma ran over your dogma. Ahahahahahahaha. I just made that up.
*sigh*
If you’re going to steal a joke, please steal a funny one. You’re such a hack.
And you still didn’t answer the points I made.
Can’t do it successfully or afraid to be pwned on your own story?
You expect me to read all that and find points? I’m a Christian. I don’t know how to read.
” I’m a Christian. I don’t know how to read.”
Well, one of you finally admitted it.
Journey, Spaceballs, and Dirty Dancing, folks. Those are the religious foundations of the U.S. of A.
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That, Mr./Mrs. Hosting Unlimited, is about the only bit of sense anyone has made in this entire library of comments. I think the debate is over. It probably isn’t, but you’ve given us all a lot to think about. I salute you, sir/madam.
Good day, and thank you.
mf
LOL, +1 for making the best out of spam bots.
I have a question for the op:
What religion are you?
You don’t seem to be a practicing Christian because you don’t seem to be exercising the love called for in scripture. Even if this was only a joke, jokes can hurt people’s feelings.
Also, to the atheists that call people stupid for believing in a god, your rude behavior pushes me away from atheism. You make atheists sound like a bunch of jerks.
I hope everyone finds Jesus soon. I want you all in heaven with me. Even those of you that annoy me right now.
I don’t think you’re stupid for believing the Biblical god.
I think you’re brainwashed, frightened and willfully ignorant. MUCH worse than regular old stupid.
I also think you might be sinister, but that’s only because I actually READ the Bible. I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt since most Christians haven’t read the Bible and I am willing to bet you’re one of them.
FYI, I used to be a very devout Christian. It was reading the Bible that made me leave. If you give it a good read and you have any sense of fairness, decency or love of humanity AT ALL, you will do the same thing. It took me a few years to get over the fear that had been instilled in me, but once I did, I was free.
Here’s wishing you the same freedom.
As I said two and half years ago, the Bible was written by dudes, dinosaurs and adorable lil’ sock puppets. Not God. When Stefano DiMera brainwashed me into believing, I told him, look, man, preaching to the choir. He insisted. Now I have double the belief. But I do punch every priest I see in the face.
I’m sorry, I have trouble understanding what you are trying to say, but I wish you the best anyways.
Case and point, your words are cruel.
I was an atheist, but then I did some investigation into the points of view of christians and other atheists. I agreed with the Christians.
I don’t believe atheism is the best path for society. I find the rules of the most basic biblical form of Christianity work best. The most important message from the bible is to love, everyone, no matter how they annoy you. I don’t believe for even a moment that if everyone were a Christian that the world would be at peace, but i like the unattainable level of love that it asks you to strive for.
I want to become a better person, which to me, means more loving.
I have some. Very dear friends and some family members who are atheists, I feel very sad because I do not know what gods plan is for them or what their choices will mean in the long run. I want nothing more than for their safety and well being in this life and the next. We are respectful of each others choices and thoughts on life.
Question…
What freedom do you think I’m lacking? I feel as free as anyone else in this thing called life.
Also, yes, I have read the bible. A few different versions. I really like reading, so it’s not a big deal, but I know a lot of people find reading a chore these days so I can see how many might find the bible particularly challenging. I’ve heard some parts of the bible in audio format as well but I didn’t much care for that format
I’ve also gone to some apologetic lectures over the last few years to try to gain a deeper understanding of what the meanings of some of the more cultural aspects of the texts were.
I am mean and rude sometimes, but I’m trying to improve myself ever day. When I am mean and rude, I know god will forgive me and I ask the forgiveness of others. I try to be forgiving to those who are mean and rude to me, because I know we all have bad days, weeks, or even years.
I wish you the very best. I hope you find love and compassion from those around you and that you can express that back.
Havent most groups been hated? I’m sure there is someone out there who hates me based on something I believe or do.
Cry me a river. Let’s just try harder to love one another.
I love love absolutely LOVE the amazing self defense mechanism of Christianity. You bible lickers go on and on and on about how sick you are of the soul less Atheists spouting off their beliefs and “gettin pissed” at all of you and this and that and how you just can’t stand those that basically try to call you out on the fairy tales you so love. I just spent over and hour (and yes I admit I DO need a life, don’t I?) reading this and every single Atheist comment with the slightest bit of UMPH behind it was in response to a christian that first insulted/berated/acted like a typical loudmouth Christian before them and did exactly what they complain about the Atheists doing.
Cause and effect anyone? No?
Its like this.. you can walk down a hallway and be passing another guy. You instantly push him hard and throw them up against the wall. Of course they get pissed and instantly retaliate, throwing you back up against the wall as well. You instantly go with “WHOA what the hell SEE how he acts? Typical Atheist reacting like that, why you gotta push me? I’ll PRAY FOR YOU!!”
OK it can be narrowed down THIS easily and no matter what ANYONE says, this is the “God’s honest” truth:
If EVERY CHRISTIAN just shut the fuck up, then the Atheists would do the same.
If EVERY ATHEISTS just shut the fuck up, the christians would be louder than ever.
AMEN
Well, I believe you must be an atheists because “Slapnuts” is certainly not a Christian name. As I eluded to somewhere among all of this nonsense, the Internet is abundant with two things: porn and atheist trolls. And it is simply a classic example of doth protesting too much the way the typical atheist troll will spout on and on about something they don’t believe in. If atheists shut up? I have a couple of atheist friends, and they just hang out and be cool. Thus, I reciprocate. But there is a growing percentage who just won’t shut up about how much there is no God and all believers are stupid and half-retarded. I see it on Twitter constantly.
So, look, I’ll admit there are plenty of loudmouth asshole Christians, and surely they’re responsible for the growin number of loudmouth asshole atheists. And this is a debate that will last for eternity because God ain’t just gonna show up to appease you people. (That’s right. I said “you people.”) So I try to bring some humor into and fuck with atheists the way they like to fuck with Christians.
Anyway, I’ll be over here confessing my sins, if you wanna make out or somethin’.
Peace and love,
Mf
Thank you, The Internet is New To Me…my, I hope you don’t have a job for which you need to wear a name tag, because that would never fit.
Anyhoo, maybe you will enjoy this:
http://themikefrizz.blogspot.com/2012/03/gervais-and-maher-hateful-fucking.html