Giant African Land Snail

by Riyad Kalla on 28. Apr, 2008 in Humor & Fun

About.com has a little gallery of Scary Exotic Pet Pictures, and while I didn’t really find most of them too scary… this one was a shocker.

This giant shelled bringer of disease and doom is a Giant African Land Snail, and it would probably kill you for no other reason than it was bored, and you had a stupid look on your face…

In extreme circumstances the Giant African Land Snail has been known to secrete poison and lasers from it’s slimy underbelly bringing doom and carnage to families, small towns, forests and New York once back in the 80s… but the whole thing was more or less swept under the rug so the US could save face during the cold war.

Another interesting fact is that they climb into trees when they get mad at you and hatch plans on how to get even (Pictured Right)

Consider this:

FACT: 11,000 people die every year from coordinate giant-land-snail attacks in most major metropolitan cities**

So next time you are prancing around a rain forest thinking your hot-shit because your iPhone has JailBreak on it and you run all the latest “apps” on it… that’s probably a snail-agent-of-doom watching your every move and it’s not impressed with how fast you can SMS your friends.

** This is not, nor has it ever been, true.

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This post was written by:

Riyad Kalla - who has written 2270 posts on The Buzz Media.

Software development, video games, writing, reading and anything shiny. I ultimately just want to provide a resource that helps people and if I can't do that, then at least make them laugh.

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10 Responses to “Giant African Land Snail”

  1. Phil 02. May, 2008 at 3:36 am #

    Oh my god, I would buy salt by the bagful if those were where I lived.

    Reply
  2. Luke 12. Aug, 2008 at 9:35 am #

    i have been breeding African Giant snails and they have laid eggs. i will be selling them for £15 each.

    Any takers

    Reply
  3. kayleigh 05. Sep, 2008 at 8:54 am #

    £15!!!! That is so expensive. do not buy them. I got mine for £2.50 so you are waaay overpriced

    Reply
  4. Editor 05. Sep, 2008 at 10:19 am #

    Kayleigh,

    Do you buy them as babies or giant monster snails?

    Reply
  5. becky 10. Sep, 2008 at 7:16 am #

    my Giant African Land Snail is two and the size of my hand. He/it is not fully grown and worth around £3.50. The bigger they get the more expensive and my local petshop give away eggs. Buying one for £15 is rediculous.

    Reply
  6. Editor 10. Sep, 2008 at 8:59 am #

    Backy would you mind sending in a picture of it to contact@thebuzzmedia.com? I’ll add the picture to this story… I think these things are awesome.

    Reply
  7. Valentine 03. Feb, 2009 at 12:21 am #

    There snails dude…

    Reply
  8. ollie 07. Jun, 2010 at 9:06 am #

    omg kayliegh im sellin mine for free! my 2 snails had 49 babys and are 2 and 2cm bigger than my hand!

    Reply
  9. SimaWei 25. Jul, 2010 at 2:54 pm #

    I want a pet Snail D:

    Reply
    • Riyad Kalla 26. Jul, 2010 at 8:00 am #

      SimaWei,

      These aren’t pet snails… they are beasts of war!

      Reply

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