Okay, maybe they are really nice guys. Maybe they give tons of donations to Toys for Tots every year (I don’t know, I am just imagining that perhaps they do), maybe they treat their wives like queens, and maybe they visit the elderly and teach them macrame.
None of these possibilities changes the fact that they are spewing enough unchecked bullshit that they actually make Jason and Grant look like Newton and Einstein. I watched the first episode, and I can’t even remember where they went, but I was certainly unimpressed. It wasn’t until the second episode – their visit to Tombstone – that I actually felt the kind of rage that I generally reserve for people who lie on TV. That is because these f*ckers lied on tv.
“But Katie, how do you KNOW that they lied on tv? Who would ever do such a thing?”
The Clunge brothers, that’s who.
While I was watching this episode, our band of intrepid buttwads excitedly, even SPASTICALLY, declared the discovery of a “shadow person” in the Boothill Graveyard. Now, right off the bat, this “shadow person” was captured on a cheap camera in a dark graveyard by any of a number of slackjawed Texasholes, and looks a bit like Gingy from Shrek. Here, have a look:
Pay specific attention to…well…the whole thing. Watch how they leap around like idiots because of their earth-shattering discovery that is going to rock the paranormal world. At one point they use their sophisticated SMART board technology to highlight the little shadowy cowboy. Now, take a close look at the legs of the cowboy and compare them to this photo that my friend, Adam, took while he was visiting Tombstone just a short time ago:
Specifically, the bottom of the wrought iron gates. There’s your effing cowboy. Seriously. It took me about two minutes to figure out that it was the bottom of a wrought iron fencepost, especially since they actually showed the grave during their daylight “debunking.” Although, given that they were deliberately trying to obscure the base of the wrought iron gate, I suspect that they are not only fools, but liars, too. They have a team of six, and a half-million dollar rolling lab and they can’t even do the most basic elimination of natural causes. Perhaps the most offensive part is that they claim to be “scientific” and they are constantly pulling half-assed theories out of the gaping chasm that is their collective intellect. They are not only part of the problem with the way paranormal investigation is portrayed on television, they EXEMPLIFY the very core of the issue by dismissing scientific method and Occam’s razor in favor of neanderthal grunting and GASPING (yes, I intentionally spelled “gasping”) at straws. Do you think they actually believe that is a shadow person? There isn’t even a real designation of “shadow person” anywhere in proper paranormal literature. The whole thing is totally made up. Go figure.
Adding to the overall issue is that they are gaining a fanbase. People are perfectly willing to accept their “mistakes” because they seem “really scientific” and they have “good theories.” They are and have neither of those things. Please don’t be fooled, people. Snap out of it! I don’t even know how these guys got a show. They probably couldn’t find their asses with both hands in their back pockets. Paranormal investigation is turning into one big “dead time” snipe hunt, and it’s embarrassing and ridiculous. The next lecture I give on our methodology is going to include a stick and a paper bag under the list of “tools.”
This is NOT real research. It isn’t even entertaining. They don’t even enunciate properly. Dare I say it, they are WORSE than TAPS!!!!
Great, here come the other three horsemen of the apocalypse. Thanks, guys.