Wait. What’s a paranormal poser? I mean, I am FULLY PREPARED to unleash a litany of strongly-worded STRONG WORDS towards anyone bringing tarnish and untoward monkey-business into the most holy of holies – paranormal investigation – but FIRST, I must get to the bottom of this “paranormal poser” situation.
According to a new, timely, and relevant Facebook page bearing the same name, paranormal posers are described succinctly with a simple reading from the book of Twattrain (3:16):
Those who have shitstains on their fucking faces are either a Paranormal Poser, or a has a serious addiction of eating second hand Taco Bell.
This passage, written by the prophet “Nastrofuckingdamus”, while being grammatically and subjectively offensive, really sheds light on the problems within the paranormal field. Shit-stained faces. Shit-staining of the face occurs when you have your head jammed so far up your own ass, you have no choice but to emerge bathed in your own snorkle-muck. Probably the second most hardhitting passage from this Facebook page comes to us from Paranormal Poser him/herself:
Oh those two asslickers from Ghostology. Yes, it reminds me of the time I was so bored, I ate Taco Bell just so I could shit on my next door neighbor’s porch. Asstards Brian and Anne Marie Byers, fucking sound like a Mattel toy set. With the stretch marks around his mouth, he probably sucked more cock than Linda Lovelace. What a pair of duchebags…
Wait, is Taco Bell sponsoring this? And if I knew what “duchebag” was, I’d probably agree with this statement. Those ASSLICKERS. Licking ass all day long. LICK LICK LICK.
Now that we have the pleasantries out of the way, let’s get down to brass tacks. This is what legitimate investigators/enthusiasts have to deal with day in and day out. Hate is a strong emotion, made even stronger by the knowledge that no matter how much ASS certain folks are willing to LICK, they’re not ever going to be taken seriously or accepted into the fold. Being so deeply immersed in jealousy creates an atmosphere of ignorant contempt so spectacular that people go out of their way to shit in other folk’s Cheerios like it was their JOB.
Now, I did a little investigating to find out the chain of command on this Facebook page (which, at last count, had a burgeoning 21 members), and through the course of casual conversation, I realize that it is simply a rehashing of the old “Donna LaCroix allegedly lied about having terminal cancer” pablum that is SO five minutes ago. I am also not surprised to see a member of the Ghost Divas (who pride themselves on flagrant abuse and misuse of ill-gotten privileged information – allegedly, of course) freely posting comments on this page. Now, I have never met a member of this group, but word gets around like lice in kindergarten that they are – allegedly – insufferable “go for the throat” bitches who have nothing productive to offer paranormal investigation aside from their own bitterly misguided commentary. Again, allegedly. So, it really doesn’t take an advanced degree in quantum mechanics to ascertain that – one way or another – all these hate-spewing fuckers are in bed together (in a figurative sense), allegedly.
Here’s where this all becomes a big, juicy red herring: Donna LaCroix made allegations suggesting that Ghost Hunters fakes evidence. Well, duh. re-enacting – faking – tomato – tomahto. I’ve spoken to people first-hand who have signed NDAs agreeing not to talk about the miles of fishing line that go into the production of any given show (and this is not intended to be disrespectul to the folks that merrily go along doing that show, it’s just relevant to this article). Nobody is shocked by this, ergo nobody really cares. UNLESS, part of your gravy train dream is to continue to make guest appearances on a show, and suckle at the teet of an empire built around thinly veiled chicanery. Now, the sum of these parts adds up to “let’s accuse the legitimate folks of exactly what we are guilty of, thereby throwing people off our scent.”
I have read all of the alleged emails regarding this Donna LaCroix business, and there is not one shred of “evidence” pointing to her having lied about anything. These fuckers have stretched the truth thinner than a fully-effaced cervix, and continue to belabor these ridiculous talking-points because they have NOTHING ELSE TO DO. Now, if the worst thing that Donna LaCroix has ever done is tell folks stuff they already know, and if the worst thing that Brian and Anna Marie Byers have ever done is have a fan base, then that’s not too shabby.
I mean, it’s certainly no worse than oral sodomy of a toddler, you know?
So, yeah, I guess it’s pretty clear who’s side I’m on, and since my words are bigger and smarter, I am perfectly comfortable laying this monster bare for your consideration.
Calling a spade “a spade” is what gets me a’paid, a’paid. Have a go at my jugular. I need a good laugh.